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Last time we saw the inherent worthlessness of Hardware characters, with the best we could really do being more or less identical to a completely unpowered gunslinger character except with a plane. Now it's time to build the one Hardware character who really bucks that trend at all: the Weapons Expert.

Weapons Experts in Heroes Unlimited are, for lack of a better term, the gun nut option. They can also use weapons that aren't guns, but they don't really have any reason to because most of their unique abilities specifically involve guns and the shooting thereof. Really, if your Weapons Expert isn't packing comically absurd amounts of heat you're doing it wrong.

Anyway, stats. Our character, who I have preemptively named Shooty Guy, starts with IQ 10, ME 12, MA 13, PS 15, PP 7, PE 10, PB 12, Spd 8 so nothing to really report on that end. That said, I should note something I forgot to mention last time, which is that Hardware characters have their IQ raised to 9 if it was lower. Yes, 9. Not a value that would've actually given them anything, just 9. This is the sort of thing Kevin Siembieda's brand of game design involves, people.

I roll a 2 for HP so he has 12 total, plus the default 35 SDC. Also, because Shooty Guy is a Weapons Expert, he gets a Horror Factor that starts at 8. Apparently people are scared of someone who carries large amounts of homemade guns around in public. Who knew? There's also a note that ordinary citizens treat his Horror Factor as being 1 higher than what's listed, which is probably the most sensible bit of rules text Kevin Siembieda has ever written.

Mercifully, my education roll of 11 means that Shooty Guy is only a high school graduate and thus only gets two skill programs, which is reduced to one because he's a Hardware character. This means I don't have to spend nearly as much time writing down stupid fiddly percentages, especially since his one skill program is inevitably going to be Physical and thus two of the skills in it don't even have percentages. It helps that high school education gives you ten secondary skills and thus I have more than enough to polish off the Standard Palladium Character Physical Skill Set, though I have to wonder what happens to the secondary skills you inexplicably forget when you go to college without graduating.

The Weapons Expert skills are, naturally, mostly about how to shoot all the guns. All of them. There technically aren't enough proficiencies available to get Shooty Guy everything but it's close enough. I also get Demolitions and Demolitions Disposal at higher values than I'd be able to get them with a military education, Find Contraband at something vaguely resembling a reasonable percentage, and a couple of nothing skills that don't matter.

Weapons Experts also get a few extra bonuses, the most important of which is an extra attack when using guns. There's also the Make & Modify Weapons skill which lets us make weapons and ammunition (but not lasers for some stupid reason), a special version of the Recognize Weapon Quality skill that's actually sort of worth a damn, and three combat skills. The first of those is Gunfighter Paired Weapons: Revolver & Pistol, which naturally lets you fire two handguns at once. Whether you can do so whilst jumping through the air is not specified.

I also get Quick-Draw Initiative: Handguns & Rifles, which gives bonuses to initiative...if you have at least 18 PP. Sadly Shooty Guy's PP is too pathetically tiny to benefit from this, so it just sorta sits there taking up space.

The last special Weapons Expert skill we get is WP Sharpshooting, which can be used with a specific subset of guns. It provides a few different Stupid Gun Tricks you can do, the most impressive of which is bouncing a bullet off a wall to hit someone around a corner, but the most important thing it grants is another attack if you spend the whole round using weapons it applits to. This is in addition to the extra attack we get with guns in general.

The Stupid Gun tricks are mostly a wash, though. The ricochet shot is cool, but you also get a bunch of abilities that just serve to penalize characters who don't have them by making it impossible for them to do them. The single funniest is the one for firing right after a roll, which helpfully points out that this is normally a wild shot where you roll flat...and then immediately tells you that with this skill, you roll flat. Which you already did.

I then need to roll for a budget with which to buy all of Shooty Guy's guns, and get a whole $20,000 to spend. This goes farther than it sounds like it should because he can make all his own guns and thus only spends 10% of the list price for them. Alas, when I rolled to see how much he's spent on his workshop I got an 8, and thus Shooty Guy is as gullible as he could possibly be. Somehow that feels appropriate for the gun nut class.

Anyway, let's talk about what guns we can get our gun guy. The Make & Modify Weapons skill allows you to make any kind of non-laser weapon as mentioned, and for non-firearms ("ancient weapons" in Palladium-speak) you can give them a few combat bonuses. For guns, though? You can chamber them for ammo that's up to two grades bigger or smaller than the standard (I'm gonna assume that's based on damage dice because nothing else makes sense), you can make them shoot backwards, and you can make micronized versions.

That's it.

Okay fine, you can also make a few random gimmick weapons like derringers, tiny flamethrowers, zip guns, and that kind of shit, but that's about it. You can, however, make special ammo, which we'll get back to.

Anyway, now it's time to reveal one of the big stupid things about the second edition of Heroes Unlimited: there's no regular guns in the book. None at all. Instead there's a note about how space limitations (read: Kevin lays these books out by hand and got tired) mean they have to list damage based on caliber. This game, which has pages upon pages of rules for different kinds of guns, is almost entirely gunless.

Thankfully the GM's guide actually does have a list of guns in it, but tragically it's missing all the fancy drawings of the different types that Kevin did in the first edition of the game. So you don't get to choose your weapons based on which ones look the most ridiculous.

Now, before we pick Shooty Guy's weapons, let's get a bit of perspective. Up until this point, the best we've been able to do with damage per round is with Northern Steel, who averages a nice 132.5 damage using his fancy bionic claws over a full round. Pretty good, huh?

We can do better.

So, here's the full list of guns I'm having Shooty Guy make:

  • Two micronized Jericho 941 pistols, chambered for .50 AE

  • One micronized Skorpion Model 61 machine pistol chambered for .41 Magnum

  • One micronized Ingram Model 10 submachine gun chambered for .50 AE

  • One micronized Dragunov sniper rifle chambered for .50 Browning

  • One micronized AK-47 chambered for the .50 caliber rifle ammo listed in the core book (I'm just gonna assume the kind used in the sniper rifles won't work for one reason or another)

  • One micronized Bernadelli B4 shotgun


(Some of these have variable prices listed, so I just used the highest value shown to at least maintain the pretense of fairness.)

I can only imagine how much people must laugh at Shooty Guy at gun shows when he tries to show off his ridiculously tiny guns. But rest assured that it's not the size of the weapon that counts, but how you use it.

First, let's remember that these guns are all set up to use the biggest bullets they can. The specific pistols I went with also happen to have the largest magazine I could find at 12 rounds, because Shooty Guy doesn't need to be worrying about running dry in the middle of the action. There's no rules for these custom guns that are smaller than normal and use bigger bullets than they should having smaller magazines as a result, so I can only assume there's no change in spite of all common sense.

Now, the next piece of the puzzle is pur choice of ammo. Weapons Experts can make their own bullets, and there's a few special types listed in their writeup. The specific one we want is the depleted uranium core rounds, which flat out double the damage of the bullets.

Let me repeat that. They double the damage of whatever kind of bullet you're using.

There's also some nonsense about them raising the bullet's penetration value, a stat that doesn't do anything (though to be fair there's a mention that lets you treat a target's effective armour rating as 2 lower than normal), but that's not what's important. What's important is that we want as many depleted uranium rounds for our guns as we can get our grubby little hands on.

See, the .50 AE rounds that Shooty Guy's guns are mostly chambered for normally do 6d6 damage, so the depleted uranium versions instead do 12d6. And as previously mentioned Weapons Experts get to dual-wield pistols, so we can fire twice in a single attack and do 24d6. Shooty Guy gets seven attacks per melee if he only uses a specific subset of guns that includes pistols, so this averages 588 damage per round.

There's honestly not a whole lot that can even remotely try to stand up to that kind of firepower. Hell, even fucking Immortality and Invulnerability don't offer anywhere near the kind of bulk you need to survive a single round of combat against Shooty Guy.

Actually, let's do a bit of theorycrafting. The highest you can get a character's SDC in the core rules, as far as I can tell, is if you make a mineral-type alien from a world with an abrasive atmosphere, then give them the Experiment category and have increased mass as a side effect. You would then need to use the option that provides 2 major powers and 1 minor power, and select Extraordinary Physical Endurance, Immortality, and Invulnerability. Then you'd need to make the character a Mega-Hero, multiplying their SDC by 1.5, and choose the Tremendous SDC Mega-Power.

Shooty Guy would still, on average, smoke such a character in three goddamn rounds.

EDIT: Turns out I forgot to actually read the description of Invulnerability. In reality, that particular power would in fact shut Shooty Guy down. Though that's not much of a disadvantage seeing as it shuts almost everyone down.

So, uh, yeah. We're getting depleted uranium rounds for everything. Especially those .50 AE rounds Shooty Guy's pistols use, because he'll be going through a lot of them.

The shotgun needs to be handled differently because, as is standard for relatively crunchy RPGs, the lovingly crafted firearm rules do not in fact have any allowance for how shotguns work and thus need some specific spot rules to make them work that render them incompatible with all the special ammo used by their non-shot brethren. There's three types of shotgun shells worth considering here: phosphorous (!) shells that do 7d6 (and which I assume are supposed to be dragon's breath rounds but Kevin didn't realize that those aren't made with white phosphorous), glaser shells that do 1d6x10 at the cost of barely having any penetration value, and exploding shells that also do 1d6x10. Now, our pistols are already enough of a war crime and the phosphorous rounds don't quite stack up to the 1d6x10 options, so they're out. Meanwhile, the glaser rounds do exactly the same thing as the exploding ones but cost $28 for a hundred instead of $100 for ten. Maybe this would be an actual choice if penetration value actually existed in the real game rather than just being a random statistic Kevin likes to bring up, but as it stands there is no drawback whatsoever to taking the glaser shells.

Oh yeah, and I should mention that the specific shotgun I've chosen has the ability to do short bursts that triple its damage, and has the largest magazine out of any shotgun in the game that can do that. So our shotgun effectively does triple damage.

So I buy a bunch of ammo, and a decent armour vest because Shooty Guy's kinda fragile. Then I add several metric fucktons of clips, pouches, and other general accessories every cheap Punisher knockoff needs. This includes six pouches with no listed purpose because if you're making a superhero with guns and they don't have more pouches than they could possibly know what to do with you're doing it wrong.

Randomly rolling background info, I find that Shooty Guy is first born, he is husky and tall, he's nice but talkative, he has $2,700 in the bank, he's from a large city in the US, and he comes from a wealthy family. Yep, all that checks out. Disturbingly so towards the end.

I'm giving Shooty Guy the real name of Steve Grimm, and setting his alignment to Unprincipled because when you're as covered with guns and bullets as this guy is it's either that or Anarchist.

My evaluation of Shooty Guy is that he's a combat god. He's somehow even more broken within the context of the game he's in than Rifts' Sea Inquisitor, which is a pretty fucking high bar to clear. Oh, and while Sea Inquisitors need to combine three different sourcebooks to reach the full apex of their power, Weapons Experts technically don't even need to leave the core book to break the game the way I just did.

Anyway, that's it for Hardware characters. Next time we'll be heading into the land of characters with big PP energy as we start our examination of the Magic power category!

Character Sheet:

Name: Steve Grimm
Hero Name: Shooty Guy
Age: 21
Gender: Male
Alignment: Unprincipled
Level: 1
XP: 0

IQ: 10
ME: 12
MA: 13
PS: 25 (+10)
PP: 9
PE: 15
PB: 12
Spd: 23

HP: 17
SDC: 74
AR: 12
Armour SDC: 120

Attacks per Melee: 5 (6 with guns; 7 with pistols, revolvers, bolt-action rifles, semi-automatic rifles, energy pistols, and energy rifles)
Melee Damage: +10
Parry: +3
Dodge: +3
Roll with Punch: +10
Pull Punch: +3
Disarm: +0 (+3 with called shots)
Initiative: +2
Knockout Punch: 20
Pin/Incapacitate: 18-20
Save vs Horror Factor: +1
Horror Factor: 8

Power Category: Hardware
Area of Expertise: Weapons Expert
Weapon Master Bonuses: Understand "most types" of guns, +1 attack when using guns, +3 to disarm on called shots, +1 to save vs Horror Factor
Budget: $3,095/$20,000
Money Spent on Workshop: $80,000

Education: High School Graduate (-1 skill program)
Skill Programs: Physical (+5%)
Secondary Skills: 10

Skills:
Acrobatics (65%/65%/75%/55%/+15%/+5%)
Athletics
Basic Electronics (40%
Basic Mathematics (45%)
Basic Mechanics (50%)
Body Building & Weight Lifting
Boxing
Climbing (60%)
Computer Operation (40%)
Demolitions (84%)
Demolitions Disposal (84%)
Find Contraband (46%)
Gunfighter Paired Weapons: Revolver & Pistol
Gymnastics (55%/65%/65%/75%/+5%/+5%)
Hand to Hand: Martial Arts (counts as 3 secondary skill picks)
Language: English (98%)
Literacy: English (98%)
Make & Modify Weapons (84%)
Pilot Automobile
Prowl (35%)
Quick-Draw Initiative: Handguns & Rifles
Recognize Weapon Quality (25% by sight/50% by examination)
Running
Sniper
Swimming (50%)
SCUBA (50%)
WP Automatic Pistol
WP Automatic & Semi-Automatic Rifles
WP Bolt-Action Rifle
WP Energy Rifle
WP Polearm
WP Revolver
WP Sharpshooting
WP Shotgun
WP Sub-Machinegun
WP Sword
Wrestling

Money: $3,095

Items:
2 micronized Jericho 941 pistols chambered for .50 AE
Micronized Skorpion Model 61 chambered for .41 Magnum
Micronized Ingram Model 10 chambered for .50 AE
Micronized Dragunov sniper rifle chambered for .50 Browning
Micronized AK-47 chambered for .50 caliber rifle
Micronized Bernadelli B4 shotgun
300 .50 AE depleted uranium core rounds
60 .41 Magnum depleted uranium core rounds
60 .50 Browning depleted uranium core rounds
60 .50 rifle depleted uranium core rounds
1,000 glaser shotgun shells
Hard armour vest
1,000 assorted magazine clips
Battle harness
2 belt slide holsters
4 military-style shoulder holsters
Assault rifle case
Rifle case
Submachinegun case
Shotgun bandoleer
2 magazine clip pouches (automatic pistol; 4 clips)
2 magazine clip pouches (submachine gun; 4 clips)
Field gun cleaning kit
Gun repair kit
6 multi-purpose pouches
Basic phone with answering machine

Background Info:
Birth Order: First Born
Weight: Husky
Height: Tall
Disposition: Blabber-mouth, nice guy, but too talkative
Life Savings: $2,700
Land of Origin: United States
Childhood Environment: Large City
Social/Economic Background: Wealthy
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